Monday, April 09, 2007

Let's Make a Plea Deal!

I'm a little late in posting this, but Florida is at it again. No no no, not winning titles, but breaking laws. OL Ronnie Wilson was arrested for shooting a semiautomatic rifle into the air. A semiautomatic rifle. Semiautomatic. Rifle. Imagine the thought process leading up to that purchase.

"Hmmm, what dis boy needs? I needs me a safety precaution - you knows, now that I's playin for day Gaytahs. Hows about a rifle? Naws, an OOZI!"

Apparently, TAZ isn't the brightest of young men. This is in direct contrast from his reported Rivals intelligence meters: 3.5 GPA and 960 SAT. Which is it? I think the former, because who in their right mind would wear a hat like that? Ronnie Wilson, that's who.

With this latest arrest, Florida leaps to 3rd in the latest update of the Fulmer Cup at Every Day Should be Saturday. And before anyone starts throwing out cliched remarks like "Those in glass houses shouldn't spit into the wind," because I'm a Tennessee alum, think about this: if the school whose coach inspired the cup isn't in the chase, is it still that coach's cup? Chew on that.

As for punishment from Urban Meyer? Nothing yet. However, you can be sure it will be severe and timely. Probably one of the following:

Stiff penalties coming. Wilson's reason for shooting the gun into the air? He said he wanted to intimidate the guy he was arguing with. Right. Intimidate him. Because being 6'4" and 300+ pounds isn't intimidating enough - he needed to shoot an AUTOMATIC RIFLE to startle the guy.

The Fulmer Cup should be renamed the Meyer Cup.

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